


Lead Me Through The Fire

by laikaspeaks



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Animal Abuse, Behind the Scenes, Brainwashing, Character Study, Children, Dysfunctional Family, Dysfunctional Relationships, Emotional Abuse, F/F, Female Friendship, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Insanity, Loneliness, Masks, Mental Abuse, Physical Abuse, Romantic Friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-27
Updated: 2012-06-27
Packaged: 2017-11-08 16:30:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/445161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laikaspeaks/pseuds/laikaspeaks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It took Azula less than a moment to own her soul. (A series of snippets observing Azula and Ty Lee as they grow up.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Soul

“I’ve come for Ty Lee.”

 The Princess was imperious even then, with a chill in her eyes no child should possess. Ty lee’s sisters drew together like nervous bufflo-yaks faced by an armadillo-lion as the young princess approached. They had a stupid fight over something (which Azula won, of course) and Ty lee wasn’t sure she wanted to be found. She never thought she would be grateful to be lost in the crowd.

It took less than a moment for Azula to own her soul.

She gestured impatiently at Ty lee. “Well, aren’t you coming?”

A command disguised as a question. Ty lee fell in step instinctively, her body moving almost before she made a conscious decision. “You… you knew it was me.”

The look Azula cast over her shoulder was one she would become well acquainted with, scathing but not quite angry.

“Of course.”


	2. Smoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ty Lee would never tell. Possible TRIGGER WARNING for implied abuse. (Partially inspired by Fallen by Sarah McLaughlan.)

  It was a song and dance she knew well. The hall was completely deserted, lending the raised ceilings, dark woods and reds that the fire nation favored an oppressive air. All the flames burned low on their candles and spat curls of black, waxy smoke, as if some invisible weight was smothering them. Ty Lee slipped cautiously into Azula’s darkened room. “Princess…?”

She could see a form huddled against the opposite wall, just under the heavily curtained bay windows. The other child was almost lost in the shadows, and it was only through force of will Ty Lee stepped deeper into the dark. It felt like an eternity before she finally knelt at Azula’s side. The young princess was soaked with sweat and unkempt, still in her wrinkled training clothes. Ty Lee reached out to rest her hand on a slim shoulder.

“’Zula-“

Her wrist was suddenly caught in Azula’s grip. “Don’t.”

Azula’s loose shirt sleeves slipped to her elbow, revealing a wrist and arm mottled with red streaks.

She lifted her chin defiantly under Ty Lee’s helpless gaze. “I lost control of a bending form.” Her eyes were dry and full of a burning pride. _How dare you pity me!_ She seemed to hiss with every angry movement.  There was only one reason Azula ever ‘lost control’ of fire.

She dared to settle at the other’s girl’s side, careful not to sit too close and get stuck by the bristling porcupine-frog that was her best friend. Her stomach churned with shared suffering and the crushing knowlege that there was nothing she could do to help. She was only a little girl herself. After a moment those fierce golden eyes softened just a touch. It was a weakness reserved for these moments in the dark, where no one but Ty Lee could see the questions and doubts crowding to the surface. _Am I really worthless? Am I weak? Am I stupid?_

_…Please, someone love me._

Ty Lee knew, because they were the questions Azula answered for her.

Suddenly Azula buried her face in her knees. “I must perfect this form before grandfather comes to visit.”

“It’s okay,” Ty Lee’s knuckles brushed Azula’s cheek. Gently, gently, as if she were a nervous eelhound.  It was a weak comfort, but the best she could offer and all Azula would accept. “You’re the strongest, smartest, prettiest girl I know. You can do it.”

This was their little secret. Ty Lee would never tell.


	3. Devotion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To understand Azula, you had to understand her loyalty to her father.

To fully understand Azula, you had to understand her loyalty to her father.

Most children had a point in their lives where they believed that their parents were infallible. Azula never grew out of that phase, and Ozai encouraged the attitude. Her devotion to her father was the same love, fear, and reverence some people directed towards the gods and spirits.

Like most gods, Ozai demanded bloody sacrifices and near-impossible tasks. Should she fail to [complete](http://absoluteblue.tumblr.com/post/24898934937/title-lead-me-through-the-fire-fandom-the-last) them, she was quickly reminded she was worthless. Not worthy of breathing. Should she succeed, there would be no praise forthcoming. It was simply what was expected.

It was no surprise that she broke after she realized he never loved her. He destroyed the child Azula and reformed her as a brilliant weapon. She was his creature; an engine of war whose purpose was gone with his victory. Wouldn’t anyone break, spurned by their creator and object of worship?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the old days gods required sacrifices of blood and fire to stay their wrath…

The turtleduckling peeped cheerfully and wriggled in Ty Lee’s hands. The girl giggled and bounced. “Isn’t it adorable Azula?” It was a beautiful day. The sun set the palace garden alight and all the flowers were blooming. The climbing vines were blooming this time of year, saturating the air with heavy perfume.

“I suppose,” Came the answer from the shadow of a nearby tree. The preteen didn’t look up from her scroll. She’d been in a sour mood all week, and even Ty Lee’s best efforts did nothing to help. She was almost as bad as Mai lately.

Azula glanced up to gauge the position of the sun. “Shouldn’t you be going now? I’m sure your parents are missing you terribly.”

Ty Lee’s flinch almost immediately turned into a pout. She wasn’t sure what she had done to deserve the jab, but the princess rarely needed a reason.  She released the turtleduckling into the water.

A dismissive wave. “Run along, Ty Lee.”

“Okay… See you tomorrow Azula!”

Azula waited until the young acrobat was gone before setting her scroll aside and kneeling. “My lord father.”

 “Daughter.” Ozai emerged from the shadow of a nearby doorway, his narrowed eyes lingering on the place where Ty Lee disappeared. He was clad in the ornate red and black robes of the fire lord, like a spot of burning amongst the green of spring.

After a long silence the princess lifted her face. Ozai had scooped one of the turtleducklings out of the water, and was watching its struggles dispassionately. She flinched – just slightly – at the sound of his voice.

“You may rise.”

He extended the frantic creature. “Burn it.”

—————————-

His hand was heavy on her shoulder, holding her in the shadows. She wasn’t sure how he timed it, but just as she finished Zuko, Ty Lee, and Mai’s shouts echoed through the garden. From her observation point she could see Ty Lee drop to her knees sobbing. Mai stood shock still next to an equally paralyzed Zuzu.

The smell of burning feathers and flesh was still strong in her nose. The garden was short a clutch of turtleducks.

“Do you see them?” His voice was a low growl. “Explain.”

Azula didn’t dare falter, and mercifully the words came almost without prompting. “Weak. They cling to petty affection and trivial morality. They are too easily moved by emotion, and thus their judgment is flawed.”

“Very good.” His pat on her shoulder was a shade too rough to be truly affectionate. “…Very good.”

The warm glow of accomplishment - praise from Father was rare indeed - was enough to snuff her guilt at Ty Lee’s tears.


	5. Like Ink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That night she let Ty Lee go… but not really.

Ty Lee dreamed of freedom.

There were an endless number of places and people to experience, a realization made her home life that much more unbearable. It was the wordless torment of a bird caged in front of an open window. Her desire for the world beyond the walls of the fire Nation capitol was a hunger, and she spent more time over scrolls of foreign countries than most guessed.

Ty Lee knew better than to tell the other girl about her plans. Time built up a distance between them along with the chill perfection the princess wore like a cloak. Over the years Azula become colder, more calculating. Her childish cruelty refined into a weapon that held her subjects in her thrall like turtleducks under the eyes of a reincobra. 

Still, she left a note under Azula’s calligraphy set to be found before her lessons. Maybe her friend would forgive her for leaving without saying good bye. Someday.

“You’re leaving.”

Ty Lee went shock still. How did she…?

“A-azula? I…”

A soft chuckle. “You’re not nearly as sneaky as you think you are, Ty Lee.”

She didn’t sound angry… not that it meant anything with Azula. Ty Lee turned to face her princess, certain that she would be ordered to abandon her foolish notions and return home. Azula was in her fitted red robe, her long hair hanging loose around her face and her makeup washed away. There were splatters of black on her feet, as if… _as if she’d dropped a bottle of ink._

Azula’s expression was unreadable with only the faint light of the moon to define her features. A hand with nails like claws hovered briefly over Ty lee’s shoulder, and finally withdrew without touching.

“The sentries on the wall to the north are almost always asleep.”

That was as close to a blessing as she was going to get. She threw her arms around the other girl, and only just resisted the urge to laugh when Azula went stiff as a board.

“Thank you… for everything.”

She smelled like clean, bright smoke and the exotic oils she liked in her bath water. Azula allowed her another moment, then pushed her away gently. That night would remain etched in her memory. The smell of incense and summer fire-lilies, and the way the humidity made her clothes cling sticky to her skin. It marked the moment she completely failed Azula. The princess was becoming colder and more frightening every day, and they didn’t share those quiet moments they did when they were children. She just assumed that the other girl could handle it. That was the greatest blow of all; that she was fooled by that perfect mask even for a moment.

That’s what she told herself, but she was just… so tired. Tired of holding this shattered person together and exhausted by the idea of a lifetime of humiliation and thinly veiled threats. Azula was moving beyond her reach. There was nothing more she could do! She couldn’t stand by and watch anymore - she couldn’t.

“Disgustingly sentimental, as usual.” There was no real venom in her voice, and those golden eyes remained focused on a place just over her right shoulder.  “You should go.” _Leave. Now._

It was many years before they met again.

Ty Lee always cried for Azula, and Mai would roll her eyes and mutter about misplaced loyalties. Mai didn’t know she didn’t mourn “Princess Azula”, but her best friend. The lost girl who faded away without anyone noticing, because there was no one there to see.


End file.
